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This is the finest music the Ted Chain has to offer. The best of the best. The crème de la crème. We sincerely apologize.
Archdiocese - Wenceslas (1.7MB MP3) - The peak of Ted's sad attempt at what might loosely be called "talent". Archdiocese' version of Good King Wenceslas. Everything is Ted except for the only redeeming part: Chad's incredibly ballsy vocal track. If you like Archdiocese, more can be found on the Archdiocese page. Also check out Last Supper.
Absolute Value - Voices (3.2MB MP3) - The top-rated Ted Chain band, according to the Ted Chain Top 40 for 1997. These guys are really great. You can tell Ted wasn't involved. Actually, Ted did record this, so it's a wonder you can hear them at all.
Ted On It All - Bass In Space (3.6MB MP3) - Ted's song about a bassist. The original two-bar bass line was penned for the Bath-key Bangers by J.J.Jammer. Ted took the bass line, and ran with it, adding drums, guitar, and a rap-inspired set of lyrics. The result is this little jazz number featuring Ted on everything including, unfortunately, the singing. Hold on to your ears, and forget everything you know about tuning...
Click on a song title to listen....
| Genre | Song Title | Artist |
| Death Garage | We Three Kings | Archdiocese |
| Ska | Kill Yourself (live) | Big Toe |
| Dream Beguine | Voyage to Uranus | Buttocks |
| Avant-garde | Dazed Elephant | JJJammers |
| Metal | Burn In Hell | Last Supper |
| Metal | Satan's Child | Last Supper |
| Blues | Sue Blues | Natural Log |
| Slow Rock | I Have Three Heads | Natural Log |
| Avant-garde | Touch My Oatmeal (clip) | Rancid Oatmeal |
| Minimalist | Bar-B-Q | Riverside Connection |
| Avant-garde | Fart Burp Twik | Ted |
The rest of these are lame little RealPlayer clips from the days of 10 meg worth of web space, when the web was young. Eventually, I'll get some larger samples up here, although I'm not sure why anyone would care to listen to this stuff.
| Genre | Song Title | Artist |
| Punk | It's Easy | Absolute Value |
| Punk | You Don't Know (live) | Anarchist Women |
| Alternative | I'm Waiting | Apathetics |
| Ska | Ghost Train (live) | Big Toe |
| Pop | Walk This Way | Classical Ugandan Music |
| Hardcore | Ed Ilwack (Parental Advisory) | Displaced Aggression of Gaithersburg |
| Jazz | Cruise Control | Point of Departure |
Special Thanks to Keith Richmond for keeping it Real, and providing some serious streaming bandwidth from his ultra-cool server of death. Not to mention doing some sampling for me too. "One thing I really like about low-res RealAudio files is they really make bad recordings sound better..." - Keith Richmond.
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